Table of Contents
Introduction
We all remember Zork. Even if you never played the classic text adventure, it became a mainstay in gaming popular culture. However, if you’ve never tried the game, I implore you to stop reading and play the game. It’s worth it, even if just for the experience of what games were like in the times before the internet. If you prefer to experience through the eyes of another, continue reading. This article traces my path along the five stages of grief, Zork style.
Denial
This game is almost 50 years old. How hard can it be?
Furthermore, how much fun can it really be? Let’s get this part of the challenge over with.
Standing west of a house with a mailbox in front. Oh yeah, this is thrilling so far.
Read leaflet. Well, that didn’t help at all.
Go east. Oh, I can’t even get into the house.
Anger
What the hell even is this game? There’s no tutorial, no clues, nothing. They expect me to just play the game and figure it out along the way? Who the hell has time for that? Is there a cheat code or something that I can use? Seriously. Screw this. I’m not doing this dumb challenge.
Bargaining
Okay, I’ve had some time to cool down. Zork is from the time when the manual mattered. You read it for background information and information on how to play the game. Maybe if I read the manual it will make more sense. Okay, the manual suggests that I draw a map to keep track of where I am. I can do that.
Wait, I went west and then east but it took me to a different place? That’s not right? Is it? Okay, now where the heck am I? There a jewel encrusted egg in this tree? I guess I’ll take that, but it doesn’t help me to draw this map. Surely someone else in the history of the internet (and more likely before) drew a usable map. I’ll even pay money at this point.
Depression
Okay, I got into the house and down into the dungeon. I got eaten by a grue. I appears that a map alone is not enough to advance in this game. The manual helped only in the most rudimentary way possible. I’m never going to figure this out. In the book, they made it seem so easy. Get into the house, collect the treasures, get the whistle. I can’t even figure out what to do once in the house.
How did people figure out this game without the internet? I know that trial and error is a valid way to progress. It makes the game seem deeper than it actually is. Oh, you can’t make that jump in Super Mario? Well, here’s another chance. And another. And another. Keep going until you get it little buddy. Well, with this game, they can give me infinite tries and I’ll never figure it out.
Acceptance
Wait, there’s a lantern and a sword in the living room? How did I miss that the first time around. When I light the lantern, it keeps the grue at bay. Nice. Oh, shit, there’s a troll in here. Good thing I grabbed that sword. Now, we’re getting somewhere. Okay, I get it now. I still don’t understand how anyone figured out this game before access to the internet. It must’ve just been through trial and error and word of mouth with friends.
I get it now. In fact, I enjoy this game so much I want to use it as inspiration. What if I took my knowledge of programming and used it to create a text based adventure? I’m thinking zombies in a suburban neighborhood. Kill-de-Sac. Oh yeah, this could work. Now, I just need to study Zork and some of the other text based adventures out there.
So, I didn’t beat Zork. In fact, I may never beat the game. However, I learned from the experience. Zork isn’t just a game. It’s a study in patience, curiosity, and perseverance. It rewards those who continue to try even when the odds seem impossible and the game is actively ridiculing you. These games are artifacts from a different time when people valued different aspects of gaming. I will stop short of declaring them better since I don’t truly believe it. But, they have their merits and everyone benefits from studying history.
This article is part of Halliday’s Egg Hunt.
